Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
