ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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