You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
