You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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