I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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