chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
