at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
