definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
