Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
