I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
