Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
