She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
