I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
