we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
