a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
How naked do you want me to be?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
