There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
