Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
