i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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