Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
