Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Pooping to opera.
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