you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
