First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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