how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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