Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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