I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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