He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
