I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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