You're so nebulous sometimes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
