I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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