Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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