Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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