I CAN MOONWALK!
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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