This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize