ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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