who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize