I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize