Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
