I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
