Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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