brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
