I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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