Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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