no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize