My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
