this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.