Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!