You're completely useless in the revolution.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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