R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
