I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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