thus making me awesome and them whores
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
