I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
