She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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