Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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