I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
