I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
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Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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