tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize