I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
