the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
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He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
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