I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
